Anatomy of a Board Fight

I. Subject A says something bold/sarcastic, neglects to include a smiley

II. Subject B takes offense, needles Subject A in a way slightly more pointed and direct, but not so direct as to make deniability implausible

III. Subject A shifts into an overt stance. Asks why Subject B is always trying to talk shit

IV. Having enough room to do so, Subject B evokes plausible deniability, questions why Subject A is always so quick to take offense. At this point, the tone has become condescending, with words such as "paranoid", "butthurt" seeing liberal use

V. Onlookers begin to inject snarky commentary

V. RACE TO THE HIGH ROAD! Usually, by now Subject A realizes that the rules of this particular encounter have changed. The name of the game is now to use the largest SAT words as incorrectly and awkwardly as possible in an effort to appear as the more 'rational' and cool-headed of the two. This about-face is almost always unconvincing to the audience

VI. Any onlookers who haven't begun making snarky comments by now, do so. The lifecycle of the fight approaches its natural end

VII. Sniping continues until a Subject sees an oppurtunity to bow out reletively gracefully, typically by making a comment regarding the uselessness of arguing with children

VIII. Sniping peters out. FIGHT CONCLUDED